Then come join the new party I'm forming: the Repragmacrats (or a better name to come later). We are the party of rabid pragmatists, extreme rationalists, liberal conservatives/conservative liberals, and other oxymorons who want practical solutions not ideological mandates in solving our most intractable problems. We'll take good ideas regardless of their provenance from left or right; no yellow-dogs, demagogues, theocrats or other zealots will be admitted. We will use the Scientific Method to try ideas on small scales; we'll expand the successes and discard the failures. We believe in maximizing both freedom and responsibility, and finding a sensible civic balance between the two.
We don't care what you do in your house or your backyard, as long as it remains peaceable to your neighbors. Got no neighbors? Blow yourself up nude making nitroglycerine listening to deathmetal at 11, we don't care. We don't care who your gods are as long as you spare us your uninvited opinion of them and/or your suicide squads. We don't care what you eat, drink, smoke, or who you screw (as long as it ain't kids), but neither are you getting public money for your self-destruction, before or after the fact. We don't care what you watch on your tv, but your brats better be well-behaved in school or they'll be expelled and you'll be fined--a lot. We don't care where you live or what you drive, but your fellow sensible citizens won't have to pay for your floodplain, hillside, or beachfront home's rebuilding after natural weather razes it, and you'd best behave yourself on the road, or else. We won't subsidize capitalist enterprises in the most successful capitalist nation ever, nor let those capitalists steal the "wealth of nations" which rightly belongs to the citizens, but neither will we heavily tax or minutely regulate honest men and women out of their livelihoods. We will not overtax the smart and productive, nor will we subsidize the foolish and destructive. We will teach our children about and perhaps even joyfully celebrate your ancestor's culture, but we'll do it in English. History, American and World, will be the prime focus and taught every year of every child's public education. We believe the media's job is to help voters and policymakers find answers and insight, not to help politicians play pingpong with "issues" and "codewords". We want to reach effective, informed solutions to problems, not anemic compromises which do nothing but ignore and exacerbate them. We will brook no dogmatism, ideology, doctrine, or other epistemological manacles. We want logic, facts, and reasoned discourse, not emotion, anecdote, and hyperbole in political debate. We cherish ideals but detest ideologues.
Our party's iconic animal will be the raccoon, because it is a very intelligent, well-groomed, fastidious insectivore, and we wish to eat the insects infesting Washington alive, for breakfast (and I ain't talking cicadas here, folks.) Raccoons eat frogs, too (hear that, you French false-friends?). Also, don't fuck with us when we're cornered, as we'll be vicious in self-defense (that's for al Queda) or severely pissed off (that's for the current elites and activist groups of both political stripes: tunnel-visioned, black-hearted skunks who stink up our public discourse and destroy our comity and each in their own special-pleading way threaten this once-beautiful nation we adore).
Our rallying cry is Paddy Chayefsky's:"We're mad as hell and we're not going to take it anymore."
Our Philosophy is Elie Wiesel's: "Peace is not God's gift to his creatures. It is our gift to each other."
Our creed is the Platinum Rule: Do for others as you would have them do for you, beyond that, leave them the hell alone.
Like I said, rabid pragmatists. Whaddya think? Raccoon Party? Repracticats? Time for a real change, no? Procyon lotor, y'all